Do you know what you're missing?

Hello,

How are you? I know I've praised the webcam, but really! You need one if you do not have one. Think Christmas - ask for one as a gift. (MAC's have one built in). Ellie giggles when she see's us! I'm not sure she'd remember us if it wasn't for this. When we visit in a couple of weeks, I think she'll know us and not be shy. At least I hope this is the case. And Jake is just a hoot. He asks his dad if he can "computer talk" with us. So I've done this both Saturday and today with Jake (Jim is out of town). We make silly faces, he tells me about his day and playing outside with his new friends, he asks me to read him a book and I do (he can see the pictures), we have our stuffed animals talk to each other in funny voices, and whatever creative things I can think of to keep him engaged. Then he gets tired of this and wants to go play outside. I never want to make him stay on longer than he wants...I want him and Ellie to look forward to this and actually want to do the "computer talking".



I think Jake is a little worried. I told him I might just hug and kiss him A LOT when I see him. He asked if I'd just give him one kiss and one hug. I agreed. But this might be the first promise I break! Before we hang up on the webcam I always blow a kiss and give a hug, and Jake does the same. It's not the real thing, but it's pretty good!

- Anne

Missing those babies!

Hi. You know...we've had some very frustrating times with this darn webcam lately not working properly. I think it's us not being so technological. But today...! Today it worked beautifully and we spent about an hour with Jake and Ellie. Edie giggled and screamed -the screaming is new! But somehow it's cute. She's getting so big. And Jake ate his pizza while I read him a book - the Firefighter one of course. He loves that one. Grandpa Jim, Jake and I made funny faces at each other - I just LOVE hearing him giggle. We "babysat" Jake while Matt gave Ellie a bath (Jenny was gone this eve). I showed Jake some little toys my nieces gave him - he was pretty exited and asked if I'd mail them before I go to bed tonight.

It was so wonderful to spend time with them. I just want to hug them and kiss them - and promised to do that when we visit in a few weeks. I just can't wait!
- Anne

It's Been a While

Hello,

It has been a while! We were on vacation visiting my youngest son and future daughter. We had a wonderful time with them. Jake wanted to do the webcam last eve, so we tried and failed. This technology is so frustrating for Jim and me sometimes - and I know it has to be for Jake (Ellie is too young to worry about this, but we are missing face time with her). So we re-loaded the program and it seems to be working now. I was pretty sad thinking my relationship with these grandchildren depends on this webcam thing - and it won't even work! It was upsetting. I haven't been that sad since they left town....

- Anne

I read a book

Hi. I just finished a short book on long-distance grandparenting. It wasn't very good. Maybe a couple of ideas... One was to take each grandchild on a trip when they're about 10 years old or so. Just focus on that child. That's a nice idea. But I can't wait 7 years until Jack is 10...I need to keep in touch now! Another idea was to send hand-written letters they can treasure over the years. I like that, too. That's about it. Somebody needs to write a better book. It was from 2008 and had a tiny mention of webcams. Maybe the author wasn't too technological? I know webcams aren't the end-all-be-all, but with this opportunity for actually seeing each other there has to be creative ways to use it. Well...I hate to be critical of the book, but there has to be some of you out there with better ideas!
- Anne
P.S. Still haven't had the opportunity to do the webcam this week. Soon, I hope.

A phone is better than nothing

Hi. Boy...the roller coaster ride of this webcam until Matt and Jenny's internet is stable is not fun. We thought it was working yesterday right before Jake's nap, so I was going to read him the Firefighter book. But it went down. So I read it over the phone - it was okay, but definitely not the best. I was amazed at his attention span, though. He's only 3 1/2 years old. After that we talked a bit about his new friend, his backyard, riding his bike on the sidewalk, how rain and thunder are so cozy, and all the beautiful, small things that are important to a little guy. Then Jake said "I've got to go now. I'm kind of tired of talking on the phone." Don't you just love a child's honesty? Why can't we say that when we are tired of talking on the phone? We kind of do, but not that honestly. Lesson I learned today from Jake: Try to be honest. Have a wonderful Monday!
- Anne

Dang!

Hi there. Well...all set up and ready to spend a little time with the grandchildren on the webcam this Sunday morning. But...internet is down at their house again. They are just using the area wireless until theirs is set up on Wednesday. How disappointing! I was going to read a library book on Firefighters to Jake, and show a picture of a dog to Ellie in one of her favorite books. I also wanted to see Ellie walk holding onto one finger.

So we will simply talk to the kids in a couple of hours. Grrrrr.... Patience, Anne!
- Anne

Happy again

Hello. I'm feeling happy again. It's been almost two weeks since THE MOVE, and I know my life is good even without the grandchildren here in St. Louis. My world had been wrapped up with them for 3 years now, and I loved every minute of it. I wouldn't trade it for the world, would do it again in a heartbeat, wish they were still here and I was still babysitting! But...I always try to be positive about any situation. So...I have a little time for myself now. I don't get teary or sad too often...just lately when I'm talking about seeing them on the webcam. I get a little choked up about that, but my friends understand and are so supportive. Or I get a bit sad when I hear about my family or friends and their grandkids here in town. That's hard. I'm happy for them, but jealous at the same time. Do you understand those feelings?

Jim and I are planning a couple of trips - 1) to see Joe and Adrianne - yeah! 2) to my sister and brother-in-laws with my parents, and then on to see the grandkids (and Jenny and Matt). So...so much to look forward to. I just got off the phone with Jenny and they were out in the back yard. Jake had a friend from next door over playing. That makes me happy. Ellie is taking steps only holding onto one finger. (These are the things I do miss seeing!) Maybe the webcam will come into action here - what do you think? And again...thank goodness for that precious webcam.
- Anne

Jake and Elllie on a Webcam

Hi there. Matt and Jenny got the internet back up today, so we got to visit with Jake and Ellie on the webcam. It was so wonderful! We actually got to see them! Jake looked so cute in his little sleeveless t-shirt. He said "I miss you so much! I really do. I really want to play with you!" I told him maybe we could read a book this weekend...that I still had the firefighter book from the library that he loved. He liked that idea. Then Jake said "I got a new toy. I'll be right back...I have to go get it and show you." And he did. We gave hugs, blew a kiss and said good night. It was just so nice. (I did get a little emotional - I couldn't help it since it was the first time seeing them since they left.)

And then Ellie! She got excited when she saw Jim and me. She reached out and tried to touch us. She threw us a kiss. I played patty cake with her - that held her attention for a few minutes. Isn't it wonderful that she can see us and, therefore, remember us?!

This webcam is going to be wonderful. I recommend it for anyone with kids or grandkids out of town. And you don't have to be a technological genius, because Jim nor I are! Does anyone have other ideas for the webcam? You know, fun little things to do with your grandchildren? I need ideas! Thanks friends.

- Anne

The Old-Fashioned Way

Goog morning. I was thinking about modern technology and keeping in touch with my grandchildren. And then I had a thought. There's something to be said about the old-fashioned handwritten letter. Isn't there something that's really heart-warming about that? When was the last time you received a letter from someone? Wouldn't you like to? And if you did, didn't you think it was nice they took the time to actually write? I plan to do this. I'm not sure how much a 3 and 1 year-old will appreciate a letter, but maybe when they're a bit older they will. It can be something they tuck away and keep as a memory. I hope that's not wishful thinking! Does anyone else do this? Let's talk soon....

- Anne

Wecam Woes

Hello. We weren't able to use the webcam last eve with Jake and Ellie - their internet went down and no one can come out to fix it until next week. So...we did it the old fasioned way - phone. Jim and I got to talk to Jake for a little while. He told us about his new room where he can close his door so Ellie can't get to his toys. But he said sometimes he plays with her. He also explained that there's a lot of space and where we can sit when we come (I believe he was talking about the big porch swing). Then he said "I've got to go now." I said "Why do you have to go now, Jake?" And he replied "I've got to go play with my firetruck now." Ellie tolerated the phone for almost a minute!

I think the webcam will hold a 3 and 1-year-old's attention much better! I CAN'T WAIT!
- Anne

In love with a webcam

Hello! My son, Matt, and I played with the webcam last night and got it going. Jim wasn't home so he missed out on all the fun. Okay...this IS going to be fun. No..it's not like having our grandchildren here in person, but I think this will help us keep in touch and stay a part of each other's lives. Jake and Ellie were in bed already last night, but Matt gave me a tour of the house so I can actually visualize where they live. Now, I haven't seen Jake's or Ellie's bedrooms yet so maybe Jake can show me those. I think we're going to try to do this with the kids later today. I can't wait! I just hope I don't cry! So I'm trying to think about fun ways to do this webcam thing. I thought I could read a book to the kids...Jake has a favorite fire truck book I renewed from the library that he might enjoy. Or maybe we could eat a bowl of ice cream together? Does anyone have other suggestions? Thanks friends.
- Anne

Ideas from a friend

Hello. Dorothy, who is a long-distance grandmother, responded that it's important to talk weekly. Oh - I do agree! I hope to set up kind of a routine each weekend that Jake and Ellie look forward to, but not so strict with the time that it is a burdern. Flexibility's important, right? Has anyone found a favorite time or day that works or doesn't work so well? I know a co-worker who's kids had breakfast with her mom almost every morning. Her mom recently died and she treasures this memory!

One other piece of advice from Dorothy was to remember that Jim and I are different than the other grandparents. That's a wonderful thought. All four of us have unique things to offer these children in our very own way. Aren't they blessed to have so many people who love them! Thanks, Dorothy!

I have a friend, Diane, who has grandkids on the east and west cost - she's in the midwest. When I asked her how she stays close to her grandkids, she said "Don't let too long go by without seeing them." She and her husband make sure it's not more than 3 months between visits with either them coming here or vice versa. Expensive. I guess that's what we'll be saving for - frequent jaunts to Charlotte. But so worth it!
- Anne

It's sinking in, I think

Hello. I've been thinking about this...it seems surreal. Have they really moved? They've been out of town before for extended periods. Maybe they're not really gone? Is that it?

My life is seeming a bit emptier this week... I think it's starting to sink in that they have actually moved to Charlotte. Jake and Ellie now live by their other grandparents. In my kinder moments, I'm glad Jenny's parents will have the chance to get to know these two beautiful children for a couple of years like Jim and I have (it's a 2-year job and then they plan to move to Chicago). But then my ugly side - jealousy - creeps in and I'm just plain jealous of them. I can't help it...it's so hard. (I try to come back to the present moment like Eckhart Tolle tells me to do.) But at least Jake and Ellie have grandparents close by who love them. I talked to Jake for a few minutes the other evening and I couldn't help crying a little - but he didn't know it. He said "Do you miss me, grandma?" And I said "YES, Jake!". Do you miss me? And he said "Yes...I do! When are you coming to see me?" We already have a trip planned in late September! Hopefully, we'll get the precious webcam going this week.

Don't get me wrong...I've had a wonderful week. Two different times I met sister-in-laws at Bread Co.; spent the afternoon with my sister for my birthday; went to dinner at a beautiful outdoor restaurant with my sister, brother-in-law, niece, and hubby - it was a cool, pretty evening; dinner and a good movie with friends, and I'm blessed to work with co-workers I consider friends. Everyone has been so supportive of this hard time for me and I do appreciate it. So Jim and I are not sitting around moping. But there is something missing!!! Jim and I both know it - it's family.

It's odd..all our kids live out of town. And here we are. Hmmm.... This is not how I thought my life would turn out. We do head north to visit my son, Joe, and my future daughter-in-law, Adrianne, the end of this month. They live part-time in a tipi and we will stay several nights in a guest tipi (or maybe just a tent). So the adventures go on. I always say "The things you experience because of your children are amazing!" I'll be in touch.
- Anne

They're gone to Charlotte

Hi. It's been a busy time...I babysat 6 days straight while my son and daughter-in-law were in Chiago for the bar exam, packing the truck, etc. It was heaven, but also exhausting. Knowing they were leaving on 8/4, we tried to pack in as much fun as we could. The anticipation of them leaving was very difficult. My worst time was a couple of weeks ago...I had a bad week, and also the Sunday before they moved. My son was hooking up our webcam and it just hit me...my relationship is being reduced to a webcam?! But that's not how to think about it. This precious webcam will keep me involved in my grandkids lives, and make sure they know who I am! The evening before they moved, I was playing with Jake (Ellie was sleeping and grandpa and my son and daughter-in-law were still packing the truck). I got a little teary and Jake said "What's wrong, grandma?". I said "I'm a little sad that you're moving and I'm going to miss you." He wrapped up the entire "The Power of Now" book by Eckhart Tolle (I love this book!) in one sentence..."But I'm not moving NOW, grandma. So let's play!" The moral...stay in the present moment. Children know this, we have to read and study an entire book to re-learn this. They are a gift of simplicity.
See you soon,
- Anne
P.S. Big truck and car with grandkids arrived safely in Charlotte. My prayers were answered. It doesn't seem real that they are gone, though.

3 days to go

Hello,
It's been a while. I haven't had the heart to write. Plus I've been blessed to have my grandchildren quite a bit lately! How lucky for me! I have a new plan...have them constantly until THE MOVE (3 days from now) and I'll be ready to send them off! Ha! Not so. I don't think that will help. But I am enjoying so much being with them. Savoring every last experience, word, smile from them. I now only get sad about seven times a day...then I pull myself together. The kids spent the night last week. I got teary at one point thinking about them moving, and Jake said "what's wrong with your face, grandma?". So funny! I think I'm almost out of tears, but then more come. I really pray that a peacefulness comes over me so I can say goodbye without being too emotional for Jake's benefit. And I have to go to work...my face swells if I cry too much. This is not good. "Come back to the present moment." That's what I keep telling myself and trying to do. It works most of the time.
- Anne

They're coming!

Good morning - it's Friday! Jake and Ellie are coming to spend the day. I'm trying to decide if we should hang out around the house or go somewhere. Jake loves being in the backyard -playing in the pool, helping Jim rake or pick a few vegetables, etc. Plus I want him to remember this place and the experiences here. Or should I create another memory for the scrapbook and take them to City Garden? It's got little pools and water fountains that shoot up (probably 100 of them). Decisions..decisions... Any thoughts? I'll let you know tomorrow what I decide.
- Anne

Ahhh..Kids were here today

Good morning. I babysat my grandkids yesterday. Another day of total joy. Only a few more times left before THE MOVE. Oooh. That's so sad. I'm beginning to worry about Jake. Maybe he'll be just fine, but I can't help worry that he'll miss coming here. He does love it. It's interesting...I'm starting to worry more about him than me. I think that's healthy! I told you I want to make a scrapbook of fun times, pictures of our house and rooms - like where he takes his naps, and so on. What do you think? That won't make him more sad, will it? I think not. My future daughter-in-law called today from Wisconsin to chat. She asked how I was doing in regards to THE MOVE. I said "not so good". She's a comfort. We're visiting them (Joe and Adrianne) in late August - they live part-time in a teepee. This should be an adventure! It's definitely something Jim and I are looking forward to and that's good to have something like that. See you tomorrow.

- Anne

Ideas From a Friend

My friend, Michelle, e-mailed me her regarding her journey with parents out of town. She says she travels a lot so she and her kids can see her parents. They are elderly and can't travel. (But we can travel - just have to figure out out to do it cheaply in this economy of ours!) She also said her best advice is to "be open and creative". One example is to celebrate holidays whenever together...not just on the holiday. I love her advice! Thanks Michelle.
- Anne

Please Quit Being So Nice

Good morning. I am finding that it's harder when people are nice and understanding about my grandkids moving (two weeks from today!). It's so much easier if I just ignore that it's going to happen and life goes on. And then I think about it in the privacy of myself and cry a little. Then I move on. But it's strange being on the receiving end of so much kindness and empathy. And the tears...I have a lot of them. And they can be a bit embarrassing in public since my eyes and nose swell when I do this. Maybe I'll run out of tears soon. Usually I'm the one helping. That is what I do...I help. Maybe that's what this is all about...I'm suppose to learn to receive help and kindness?? I just don't know how to do this "well". I spoke to my youngest son, Joe, last night. He thinks I should have a spiritual advisor. I don't think that's a bad idea...I'm just finding it hard to make the move to get one.

I thought of an idea for my grandkids. I hope to put together a little scrapbook with pictures for each of them about things we've done together. I can include pictures, tickets from our Amtrak train trip to KC, tickets from the Cardinals ballgame, I'll include pictures of rooms of our house where they spent so much time, one of the back yard and the park, etc. What do you think? I hope this keeps the memories alive and helps soothe a little. I've never really liked scrapbooking, but I can do this! I know this will be an adjustment for Jake, too. Ellie..not so much since she's so young. What else? Oh yes...I'm going to take some favorite toys and send them with the kids. Is that a good idea? I've got two weeks...what else should I be doing? Oh...enjoying the moments with the kids and simply staying in the present moment. If you have any other suggestions, I'd love to hear them. Thanks friends. See you soon!

It's Monday

Hello. Monday morning and I'm off to work. I was up until midnight talking to my oldest son, Jim, in NYC who is a musician. He's trying to help me think about THE MOVE in a different way. We've both read "The Power of Now" and found it extremely helpful in our lives. I do understand what he's saying, but the reality is that this is something like I've not experienced before in my life. Hmm.... I'm really trying to believe this won't be so bad....just different. I'm having difficulty with that....
- Anne

Cardinals Baseball and Jake

Good morning. Jim (my husband) and I went to the Cardinals game with my son, Matt, and Jake last eve. What a beautiful evening (even though they lost!). I'm treasuring all of these last experiences before THE BIG MOVE. It's coming! Each morning I wake up knowing we're one day closer to THE MOVE. I told Matt that he and Jenny are young and could get new kids...so I thought they could just leave Jake and Ellie for us to keep. He chuckled and said he wishes we could "share" - each take a week. I'm up for sharing! Anyway, it was a wonderfully fun evening. We got to spend time with Matt, who we haven't seen much of because he's buried in his studies for the bar exam. That was nice. And, of course, Jake brought fresh eyes to the game of baseball - or should I say to eating peanuts, the family play area, the darkness, and many things we take for granted. I think that's what I'll miss most...seeing the world through the fresh eyes of a child. Let me know how you do this long-distance grandparenting thing well, okay? I need your help. Thanks and have a fun day!
- Anne

How do I do this?

Hello. This is my first posting on my blog. I'm searching for ways to do this long-distance grandparenting thing well. I want my grandkids (Jake 3 1/2 years and Ellie 13 months) to know me and I want to be a part of their lives. But they are moving about 10 hours away. I have babysat them 2 days a week for the past 3 years, and have become very close to them. Now in 2 weeks they are gone from my life in a sense. Yes, I know we can visit and they will visit me. But it's just not the same. How do I handle this? I am so sad. It is like this impending doom coming at me. I'll quote my friend at work "just bring it on". I wonder if the dread of it is actually going to be worse than after it actually happens. I am a person who can deal with most things in life and make the best of them. But this one is stumping me. Help! (Oh yes...I do have a webcam I need to hook up.) I am writing this blog to hopefully discuss ways to do this long-distance grandparenting thing - helping me as well as possibly you! So as my grandson always says "Let's do it!"

- Anne